Tuesday, September 28, 2004

a hardness of 7.5

I have discovered that I enjoy shopping at office supply stores far too much. Yesterday I bought a slew of random materials (including a single-hole punch, a pack of Vision Elite super fine pens and an exacto knife). I spent the evening watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and cutting articles out of magazines, punching holes into them and putting them in a binder. What the hell is wrong with me? Yes, well, I just needed a project, is all. I needed a distraction from writing and music because I've become so involved in them that I'm getting frustrated again. I needed to step away and do something mindless. So I got all my old issues of Real Simple out and decided to keep only those parts that I thought I would use at some point. Articles on how to understand various legal documents, what kinds of spray paints work best on which materials, how to reorganize your closet, which fruits are in season when. It was fascinating at the time, but thank god it's over.

Duncan and I have three songs now. Three songs that don't have set words yet. I promised myself that I would not make plans this week, outside of writing and attempting to figure out the keyboard Duncan left for me. My brain is empty of all interesting thought and I have apparently forgotten how to type (all typos removed before publishing).

I used to sit in the dark at my old house in Santa Barbara and just type until every bad feeling left my body and I could just be simple and quiet again. There were always too many things going on in my head and really I just wanted to be sitting at Shang Hai, having that fake chicken dipped in garlic soy sauce. Damn, that was good. I miss that place. I miss alot of things about Santa Barbara...and yet I don't think much of returning there. I suppose every place I go will have certain things I miss. I miss Green Leaf in Ashland. That great deli Noah took me to in Montclair, New Jersey. The bagel place with the Seinfeld them in downtown Santa Barbara. Red Dora's Bearded Lady in San Francisco (which is no longer in business). If only I could have them all in one place (namely Oakland). Instead, I will have canned vegetable soup for lunch and get back to work.

Oh yeah, aquamarine.


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